i think i have lost 2 pounds of water so far and i am ecstatic about it. i need to keep walking. i feel better when i do even though my knees hurt.

today i decided i won’t get back on the scale until Friday.

keeping up the water intake.

obviously, i’m still a total fatass, but at least i’m trying.

The scale doesn’t lie – that’s both good and bad. Good because I am still disgusted with myself so I am not going to pig out tonight like I usually do on a Friday evening. And bad because it’s still a big number.

183 pounds at 5 feet tall. I know how fat I am.

I’ve been drinking water. Plenty – like 100 ounces. In fact, I am going to the bathroom about every 15-20 minutes.

I cut out the Diet Dr. Pepper and have been waking up with headaches. I’m trying to cut down on the caffeine and I know the headaches have to do with that detox. It’s good but hard.

I didn’t get a latte this morning like I normally do on my Friday morning ritual. I decided I’ll be saving some money by cutting out the caffeine habit.

I’m only down a pound.

I know if I incorporated some kind of exercise I would lose weight faster. I don’t know what it’s going to take to get me to do ANYTHING in a gym.

Seriously, I’m so tired because I’m still so very fat.

I know I sound depressed.

This weekend my plan is to stick with the water and maybe, just maybe I will walk outside for like a mile and see if I don’t die of pain.

Weigh in – 184 pounds. Still bad.

I decided I am going to do this one step at a time and my first thing is drinking water. Everybody talks about it and since I don’t have it in me to revamp all the contents in my kitchen just yet – I decided to do this one thing.

I drink a few sodas a day. Diet and regular alike. You name it, I like it. I drink Dr. Pepper, Coke, Diet Dr. Pepper, Pepsi One. They’re all bad I know. I’ve heard it time and time again that even though you drink zero calorie diet drinks, it’s the sodium that gets you. Makes you retain water.

So I got rid of the soda, I’m going to try saving a few dollars – and just not buy it.

I have a liter of water in front of me, and I’m determined to drink it today.

We’ll see it how it goes.

My khakis are tight. I hate how I feel, how I look. Everything.

Dang it – the weigh in

September 17, 2009

184 pounds the scale said this morning.

Dang. That makes me abig girl, especially because I am like 5 feet tall.

Last night I had pizza and pasta, a couple slices of bread AND butter. I also had a glass of Merlot. I enjoyed it but the scale is telling me this has got to stop.

I need to get my ass off of this chair and go for a walk. Seriously, I can’t even look at myself in the mirror.

I am down to about 4 pairs of pants that fit me, and they are far from flattering, far from snug. They are ASS tight – embarassing really. I am sure people look at me and are embarassed for me.

I have to figure something out. SOMETHING…because I am tired and fat, and I am tired of feeling this way.

Hello I’m Fat

September 16, 2009

First day of this blog.

I am fat.

Short AND fat, so I look even fatter.

I am tired – because I am fat.

It’s safe to say I am NOT happy either.